I really wish Ace wouldn't make fun of the clothes I wear. I can't help it I love being a redneck. Anyways, I really don't have much to say except that I have been extremely disappointed in the transfer market. Am I to believe that the global economy is so bad that no one wants to pull out their balls and try and get at least one big gun for the stretch run. Even Manchester United and Chelsea have kept their dicks and checkbooks in their pants. It truly is a sad day. On to the predictions.
Tottenham 2 - 1 Stoke City
Harry Redknapp has been the busiest guy so far in the transfer market. Of course he is only buying more crap to put onto the already high crap pile of players at White Hart Lane. At least he is trying. Stoke suck, Tottenham suck less. Tottenham pull this one out.
Portsmouth 0 - 2 Aston Villa
David James is one of about three goalkeepers who can actually keep his team in a game but sadly all he does this week is keep his team from being beaten by more than two goals. Martin O'Neil makes a great move by bringing in Emile Heskey. This will be a big addition to the Villa attack. Young, Berry, Heskey, Agbonlahor, Milner, Petrov all will pose major threats to the Pompey defense and in the end all will be successful with a full three points.
Manchester City 3 - 0 Newcastle
Deep down I think all three morons believe that the Newcastle team is pretty good but sadly their team chemistry and spirit are lacking. Along with any semblance of a decent coach. ManCity's weapons run riot all over the pitch and take some heat from Mark Hughes.
Wigan 1-3 Liverpool
Liverpool need this. The players, the coaches, the owners and most specifically the fans need an easy win. They have fallen from the top spot and are in danger of fallen out of the race completely. Above all their confidence really needs a boost and there are way to many quality players on this roster to lose or even draw with Wigan. We might finally see Torres and Keane up top together. But to be honest for the first time I am beginning to question "Rafa" and all his tinkering. In two straight Merseyside derby's Keane and Torres did not play together. Horrible, just horrible. Maybe somehow his head will become dislodged from his ass and he will see the light of day with his team's selection. (Sorry to ramble but maybe just maybe I am a Liverpool fan).
Everton 1-1 Arsenal
Everton actually have the advantage when it comes to team form. Arsenal has the advantage when it comes to talent. This a game taylor made for the type of match that Moyes is known for. His team is at home, out gunned (sorry for the pun), out classed but not out played. This won't be the most attractive football but all Moyes and Evrton want is a point. They will bunker down and play 10 or 11 behind the ball and look for a counter-attack or a set piece to score their goal. Ace will absolutely hate this game and most football fans will too. But all Everton and Moyes has to answer to are thier fans and themselves. One more tangent. Even though I sometimes support Liverpool where in the world does Benitez get the idea that somehow he can critize Moyes for playing unattractive football. Benitez does not sign the paychecks at Everton and if he wanted to be happy at the end of the day why doesn't he send out his best squad day in and day out. For my money Moyes does more with less than any manager in the EPL. And to add to this I think Benitez will be leaving Liverpool at the end of the season.
Until next time make sure you wipe your asses with your left hand.
Monday, January 26, 2009
BPL Predictions 01/27 - 01/28
I saw a kid’s shirt today that read “In the spring I strut. In the fall I rut” and had a picture of a deer and a turkey on it. That pretty much sums it up boys... if you're a dumbass hilljack. I'm sure the ladies just come in swarms when they see big, dumb, camo-overall-toting morons wearing that high-class shirt. Git 'er dun!
I’m thinking that to numb my senses from this agonizing redneckiness, I will bring some joy to my life by thinking about our upcoming “weekday” extravaganza of BPL soccer!!! You’ll notice something strange about all my predictions… yep, they are all 2-1 scores. Why, you may ask? To the average dick, mine surpasses others in length and circumference almost by an almost 2:1 ratio. You don’t have to say it. I know it’s crazy. But it’s true. Now on to wisdom I shall pour forth unto thee.
Tottenham 2 Stoke 1
Spurs seem to be playing better once again after a bit of a slump through late December and earlier this month. Stoke has been better of late as well, but on the road they’re not very competitive. I see the final for this one ending in favor of Spurs considering Stoke are the only other team (besides Fulham) to be winless on the road so far this season. And the hits just keep on coming.
Portsmouth 2 Aston Villa 1
Ashley Young is out for the Villains, who could certainly use his pace against the slower, more “experienced” back line of Pompey. By experienced I mean older and more decrepit. HOWEVER, I’m sticking to my guns (noisy cricket in the left hand and tommy gun in the right) of 2-1 wins, and since I have it out for Villa and in my spite and bitterness will predict against them every week, I choose Pompey here in a battle of midfields. In the end, the quality of Kranjcaar and Crouch will prove costly for Villa in their quest to secure a 4th place spot.
Man City 1 Newcastle 2
What an awesome fixture...“this suit is black”…Not. Robinho’s infamous departure for his native Brazil will not help the cause at City. They already stink without him, and he is by far their best playmaker, scorer, defender, and probably goalkeeper. Newcastle pick up much needed points on the road in what is probably a decent game with a lot of open play.
Wigan 2 Liverpool 1
This is my “Old Man is Snoring” pick of the week. Liverpool come off their draw with Everton and now hit a bump in the road of their quest for PL trophy glory. Wigan’s recent sale of Heskey probably hurts a bit up top, but it does allow for some fresh blood to show their worth either in midfield or in that vacant striker position. I think Wigan pulls the mini-upset here.
Everton 1 Arsenal 2
Draws in the FA Cup aside, these two teams are going to continue to stay in that 5th-8th place range unless they can turn the “tables” soon. The Gunners are running out of time for their title run and/or top four finish. They are only a handful of points back from first place, but if they aren’t going to pull the trigger on any transfers, then they might as well kiss any title hopes goodbye. “Mmmwah… adios Title Hopes.” In the meantime, Everton are annually in this middle of the pack position. Because that’s exactly where they are… middle of the pack, especially considering the bottom 12 are separated by a whole 5 points. My alternate prediction: 0-0...this could be an exceptionally boring game as well.
Sign off: Don't chug 3 beers at once. It could be hazardous to your health.
I’m thinking that to numb my senses from this agonizing redneckiness, I will bring some joy to my life by thinking about our upcoming “weekday” extravaganza of BPL soccer!!! You’ll notice something strange about all my predictions… yep, they are all 2-1 scores. Why, you may ask? To the average dick, mine surpasses others in length and circumference almost by an almost 2:1 ratio. You don’t have to say it. I know it’s crazy. But it’s true. Now on to wisdom I shall pour forth unto thee.
Tottenham 2 Stoke 1
Spurs seem to be playing better once again after a bit of a slump through late December and earlier this month. Stoke has been better of late as well, but on the road they’re not very competitive. I see the final for this one ending in favor of Spurs considering Stoke are the only other team (besides Fulham) to be winless on the road so far this season. And the hits just keep on coming.
Portsmouth 2 Aston Villa 1
Ashley Young is out for the Villains, who could certainly use his pace against the slower, more “experienced” back line of Pompey. By experienced I mean older and more decrepit. HOWEVER, I’m sticking to my guns (noisy cricket in the left hand and tommy gun in the right) of 2-1 wins, and since I have it out for Villa and in my spite and bitterness will predict against them every week, I choose Pompey here in a battle of midfields. In the end, the quality of Kranjcaar and Crouch will prove costly for Villa in their quest to secure a 4th place spot.
Man City 1 Newcastle 2
What an awesome fixture...“this suit is black”…Not. Robinho’s infamous departure for his native Brazil will not help the cause at City. They already stink without him, and he is by far their best playmaker, scorer, defender, and probably goalkeeper. Newcastle pick up much needed points on the road in what is probably a decent game with a lot of open play.
Wigan 2 Liverpool 1
This is my “Old Man is Snoring” pick of the week. Liverpool come off their draw with Everton and now hit a bump in the road of their quest for PL trophy glory. Wigan’s recent sale of Heskey probably hurts a bit up top, but it does allow for some fresh blood to show their worth either in midfield or in that vacant striker position. I think Wigan pulls the mini-upset here.
Everton 1 Arsenal 2
Draws in the FA Cup aside, these two teams are going to continue to stay in that 5th-8th place range unless they can turn the “tables” soon. The Gunners are running out of time for their title run and/or top four finish. They are only a handful of points back from first place, but if they aren’t going to pull the trigger on any transfers, then they might as well kiss any title hopes goodbye. “Mmmwah… adios Title Hopes.” In the meantime, Everton are annually in this middle of the pack position. Because that’s exactly where they are… middle of the pack, especially considering the bottom 12 are separated by a whole 5 points. My alternate prediction: 0-0...this could be an exceptionally boring game as well.
Sign off: Don't chug 3 beers at once. It could be hazardous to your health.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Dobber's Match Day 23 Predictions
The Trio's league table is all tied up heading into Match Day 23, but there will be separation following our five selections for this weekend. The Dobber had a solid week last week with a 3-2 finish, including a spot-on call with Tottenham v. Portsmouth "Toilet Stinker Match of the Week." This week I'm looking to go a step further with at least a 4-1 record and storm the table for top prize. Watch out Ace and Eugene, the Dobber's coming for your bitch asses.
Tottenham 3 Stoke City 1
Dobber's getting things off to a fast start with the first prediction nailing the "Toilet Stinker Match of the Week" award for Match Day 23. Tottenham and Stoke are both circulating the proverbial relegation toilet bowl, and will be vying for 3 pts that can help make the difference between staying with the big boys or going down to the minors. Fortunately for Tottenham , they're offensive attack will find success over Stoke's defensive and will catapult Tottenham up towards the 12-14 spot of the table. Sorry Stoke, your ass is going to be relegated this season.
Portsmouth 1 Aston Villa 2
Aston Villa is trying to hold on to their 4th spot in the table and even though they're on the road, they'll be traveling to Portsmouth. These two teams have a interesting parallel in that Villa has a +13 goal differential, while Portsmouth is about the same at 12. Although the big difference is that Portsmouth is -12. So how is this an interesting parallel? It isn't. One club scores a lot more than they give up and the other club gives up much more than they score. Even at home, that doesn't bode well for Portsmouth. Villa will enter Portsmouth and walk away with 3 pts, keeping them ahead of Arsenal for that lucrative 4th CL spot for another week.
Manchester City 3 Newcastle 1
In a battle of two middle of the pack clubs, Man City hosts Newcastle in a match that could be over very early for Newcastle. Man City has an attack that is one of the best in the premier league and something tells the old Dobber that they'll want to show the club supporter's that they can still put points on the board without the services of Kaka. If this match was at Newcastle, I might give them a chance to sqweek out a draw, but with this meeting being held within the City of Manchester, Newcastle will leave with no points.
Wigan 1 Liverpool 1
At the beginning of the season, this looked like a sure winner for Liverpool. However with the events of the last few weeks, this match is shaping up to be quite the entertainer. Wigan has found success in 3 of their last 4 matches, with the only loser a 1-0 defeat at the Emirates. Meanwhile, Liverpool stuttered for a few weeks in December before back to back thrashings of Bolton and Newcastle. But they followed that up with a 1-1 draw at Anfield to Everton. So the question is, which Liverpool side will show up? I'm thinking it will be the underachievers and I'm betting on Wigan to slow down Liverpool's attack and find themselves with a much needed point at the final whistle.
Everton 1 Arsenal 2
Another relatively top bill this weekend sees Everton hosting Arsenal. Much of the talk this week has been surrounding the Gunners and their pursuit of Andrea Arshavin. Zenit is apparently holding Arshavin for ransom and have turned down the Gunners recent $15M Euro offer and set a Saturday night deadline for Arsenal to meet the clubs demands. Those demands have been rumored to be $20M Euros, so it's looking more likely Arshavin will not see the pitch at the Emirates this season. With all the worldwind around this situation, the Gunners must focus their attention on a dangerous opponent in Everton. While Everton has had a pretty solid attack so far this season, their back line has been suspect at times, and will be exposed once again by the Gunners. It won't be easy for the Gunners, but they'll get the late go ahead goal to secure 3 pts and put more pressure on Aston Villa.
Tottenham 3 Stoke City 1
Dobber's getting things off to a fast start with the first prediction nailing the "Toilet Stinker Match of the Week" award for Match Day 23. Tottenham and Stoke are both circulating the proverbial relegation toilet bowl, and will be vying for 3 pts that can help make the difference between staying with the big boys or going down to the minors. Fortunately for Tottenham , they're offensive attack will find success over Stoke's defensive and will catapult Tottenham up towards the 12-14 spot of the table. Sorry Stoke, your ass is going to be relegated this season.
Portsmouth 1 Aston Villa 2
Aston Villa is trying to hold on to their 4th spot in the table and even though they're on the road, they'll be traveling to Portsmouth. These two teams have a interesting parallel in that Villa has a +13 goal differential, while Portsmouth is about the same at 12. Although the big difference is that Portsmouth is -12. So how is this an interesting parallel? It isn't. One club scores a lot more than they give up and the other club gives up much more than they score. Even at home, that doesn't bode well for Portsmouth. Villa will enter Portsmouth and walk away with 3 pts, keeping them ahead of Arsenal for that lucrative 4th CL spot for another week.
Manchester City 3 Newcastle 1
In a battle of two middle of the pack clubs, Man City hosts Newcastle in a match that could be over very early for Newcastle. Man City has an attack that is one of the best in the premier league and something tells the old Dobber that they'll want to show the club supporter's that they can still put points on the board without the services of Kaka. If this match was at Newcastle, I might give them a chance to sqweek out a draw, but with this meeting being held within the City of Manchester, Newcastle will leave with no points.
Wigan 1 Liverpool 1
At the beginning of the season, this looked like a sure winner for Liverpool. However with the events of the last few weeks, this match is shaping up to be quite the entertainer. Wigan has found success in 3 of their last 4 matches, with the only loser a 1-0 defeat at the Emirates. Meanwhile, Liverpool stuttered for a few weeks in December before back to back thrashings of Bolton and Newcastle. But they followed that up with a 1-1 draw at Anfield to Everton. So the question is, which Liverpool side will show up? I'm thinking it will be the underachievers and I'm betting on Wigan to slow down Liverpool's attack and find themselves with a much needed point at the final whistle.
Everton 1 Arsenal 2
Another relatively top bill this weekend sees Everton hosting Arsenal. Much of the talk this week has been surrounding the Gunners and their pursuit of Andrea Arshavin. Zenit is apparently holding Arshavin for ransom and have turned down the Gunners recent $15M Euro offer and set a Saturday night deadline for Arsenal to meet the clubs demands. Those demands have been rumored to be $20M Euros, so it's looking more likely Arshavin will not see the pitch at the Emirates this season. With all the worldwind around this situation, the Gunners must focus their attention on a dangerous opponent in Everton. While Everton has had a pretty solid attack so far this season, their back line has been suspect at times, and will be exposed once again by the Gunners. It won't be easy for the Gunners, but they'll get the late go ahead goal to secure 3 pts and put more pressure on Aston Villa.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Fixture Records, Etc.
What a week. The Kaka saga finally ended with Kaka refusing to leave Milan... or, as Man City claims, negotiations were terminated. Riiiiiiiiiight.
Arsenal have waited for such a long period to put pen to paper and pay the playmaker "p"Arshavin (note the alliteration and rhyme) that it seems Man City might swoop in like the damn buzzards that they are and nab AA away from Arsene. As of this morning I am a bit irritable about for two reasons: 1) why would Arshavin even think about signing with them instead of Arsenal? 2) why do the Gunners continue to delay such necessary signings? Seriously. Granted, I would prefer to see them sign a solid defender or defensive mid, but they do also need a boost in attack with the depth of injuries (Fabregas, Rosicky, Walcott, Eduardo). Eduardo seems to be on the comeback trail (for real) as he netted a hattie in a reserves game. Yeah, big deal right? Watch the video from last February of his injury again and say that. Anyway, once he is back, I think the Gunners will have the opportunity to put a more potent attack on the field each and every game. One player could be tired or have a nagging injury. No matter. Van Persie comes off, Bendtner goes on. Ade comes off, Eduardo comes on. I still think a late charge for a "special" midfield defender is in the best interest of this club. That way Wenger would be forced to use Eboue as a backup RB instead of RM. Ugh.
Ok, on to the rankings. I'm sad to say that I am no longer in first place and Dobber is no longer in last place. In fact, after this last weekend's shenanigans we are all squared up.
Arsenal have waited for such a long period to put pen to paper and pay the playmaker "p"Arshavin (note the alliteration and rhyme) that it seems Man City might swoop in like the damn buzzards that they are and nab AA away from Arsene. As of this morning I am a bit irritable about for two reasons: 1) why would Arshavin even think about signing with them instead of Arsenal? 2) why do the Gunners continue to delay such necessary signings? Seriously. Granted, I would prefer to see them sign a solid defender or defensive mid, but they do also need a boost in attack with the depth of injuries (Fabregas, Rosicky, Walcott, Eduardo). Eduardo seems to be on the comeback trail (for real) as he netted a hattie in a reserves game. Yeah, big deal right? Watch the video from last February of his injury again and say that. Anyway, once he is back, I think the Gunners will have the opportunity to put a more potent attack on the field each and every game. One player could be tired or have a nagging injury. No matter. Van Persie comes off, Bendtner goes on. Ade comes off, Eduardo comes on. I still think a late charge for a "special" midfield defender is in the best interest of this club. That way Wenger would be forced to use Eboue as a backup RB instead of RM. Ugh.
Ok, on to the rankings. I'm sad to say that I am no longer in first place and Dobber is no longer in last place. In fact, after this last weekend's shenanigans we are all squared up.
ACE 5-8
DOBBER 5-8
EUGENE 5-8
I'm excited to get back into action next Tuesday and Wednesday. Let's have our predictions for the new round in by Monday. Hey ooooooooooohhh!!!!!!!!!!
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Match Day 22
Sitting Mid-Table at 3-5 makes me feel more like a team fighting against regulation rather than a team that with one good week could be fighting for the top spot. Mid pack is not a bad place to be, if your Fulham, but I'm trying to make it big and win the whole damn thing. Before I predict i would like to share some transfer season thoughts:
1. Arsenal has done nothing. Surprise, Surprise. If the Gunners bring in no new blood I am predicting that the will not finish in the top four. No Champions League and no Champions League money. This might hurt.
2. Manchester City will get Kaka. Wow is one man worth $145 million. I can not believe that Kaka will make that much of a difference. mainly because he doesn't play central defense. This team leaks goals and could use a major addition to the defense. maybe like the big ole American Oguchi Onyewu.
3. I suspect that Mr. O'Neill down at Aston Villa has a trick or two up his sleeve and will produce at least one big time transfer to the Villains.
Now on to this week:
Hull 1 - 1 Arsenal
This match is a big replay from the one that put little Hull City on the Premier League map. I have to believe that Arsenal must win this game and Hull would be ecstatic with a draw. One moment of brilliance for Hull and 90 minutes of frustration and missed opportunities for the Gunners. This might be the dropped points that mean a missed top four spot for Arsenal.
Tottenham 2-1 Portsmouth
Harry versus his old team, Defoe suiting up against former teammates and a couple of teams that need and I mean in the most desperate way, need the three points. Defoe gets one against his old team and paves the way for Portsmouth to drop. Portsmouth is playing a like a sinking ship and all the players know it. You can just imagine Peter Crouch's agent calling every EPL team about a summer transfer, right now. Harry Redknapp knows this Portsmouth team weaknesses and will exploit them. Oh what are those weaknesses: zero pace up front and in the back, little experience in the mid-field and a manager who is way in over his head. Expect the Spurs to play fast the whole game and wear this team out.
Liverpool 1-0 Everton
This is going to be a very chippy Merseyside Derby. Liverpool need a win just to keep pace with a Manchester United team who has one game in hand. Everton needs this win to stay on pace for a UEFA Cup spot. This game with be played with a nasty, physical bite to it. Everton have very limited options up front and I hope Mr. Benitez realizes that Everton will not be an attacking force and plays Keane and Torres up front together. The only question will be how long the Everton defense and primarily Mr. Timmy Turrets keeps a clean sheet. If Tim Howard stand son his head he could keep Everton in it all the way. But I don't see that happening.
Sunderland 0-3 Aston Villa
Three simple words: To Much Pace. And Aston Villa controls it all. I have visions of Usain Bolt versus me as the perfect example for this match. Sunderland will keep 10 behind the ball and hope not to get run over. Which will not be the case. Barry, Young, Milner, Agbonlehor, Petrov will all play puppet master with the Sunderland defense. This will be a must win for Aston Villa's top four aspirations and they will not disappoint.
Manchester City 3 - 1 Wigan
According to the form guide Wigan is the fourth best team in the EPL over the past 6 matches. Raise your hand if you believe that. Oh by the way ManCity sits 14th in the form guide. City have too much talent, Hughes is to good of a manager, and at some point you have to believe that they will put it all together and make a run at the top ten. Well at least I think they have to. With it looking more and more likely that Mr. Kaka will join the citizens, the team will play with confidence and swagger. Robinho will run around so much it will make the Wigan defense dizzy. The Citizens in a run away.
Until next time remember to always eat after you pick.......................your nose!
1. Arsenal has done nothing. Surprise, Surprise. If the Gunners bring in no new blood I am predicting that the will not finish in the top four. No Champions League and no Champions League money. This might hurt.
2. Manchester City will get Kaka. Wow is one man worth $145 million. I can not believe that Kaka will make that much of a difference. mainly because he doesn't play central defense. This team leaks goals and could use a major addition to the defense. maybe like the big ole American Oguchi Onyewu.
3. I suspect that Mr. O'Neill down at Aston Villa has a trick or two up his sleeve and will produce at least one big time transfer to the Villains.
Now on to this week:
Hull 1 - 1 Arsenal
This match is a big replay from the one that put little Hull City on the Premier League map. I have to believe that Arsenal must win this game and Hull would be ecstatic with a draw. One moment of brilliance for Hull and 90 minutes of frustration and missed opportunities for the Gunners. This might be the dropped points that mean a missed top four spot for Arsenal.
Tottenham 2-1 Portsmouth
Harry versus his old team, Defoe suiting up against former teammates and a couple of teams that need and I mean in the most desperate way, need the three points. Defoe gets one against his old team and paves the way for Portsmouth to drop. Portsmouth is playing a like a sinking ship and all the players know it. You can just imagine Peter Crouch's agent calling every EPL team about a summer transfer, right now. Harry Redknapp knows this Portsmouth team weaknesses and will exploit them. Oh what are those weaknesses: zero pace up front and in the back, little experience in the mid-field and a manager who is way in over his head. Expect the Spurs to play fast the whole game and wear this team out.
Liverpool 1-0 Everton
This is going to be a very chippy Merseyside Derby. Liverpool need a win just to keep pace with a Manchester United team who has one game in hand. Everton needs this win to stay on pace for a UEFA Cup spot. This game with be played with a nasty, physical bite to it. Everton have very limited options up front and I hope Mr. Benitez realizes that Everton will not be an attacking force and plays Keane and Torres up front together. The only question will be how long the Everton defense and primarily Mr. Timmy Turrets keeps a clean sheet. If Tim Howard stand son his head he could keep Everton in it all the way. But I don't see that happening.
Sunderland 0-3 Aston Villa
Three simple words: To Much Pace. And Aston Villa controls it all. I have visions of Usain Bolt versus me as the perfect example for this match. Sunderland will keep 10 behind the ball and hope not to get run over. Which will not be the case. Barry, Young, Milner, Agbonlehor, Petrov will all play puppet master with the Sunderland defense. This will be a must win for Aston Villa's top four aspirations and they will not disappoint.
Manchester City 3 - 1 Wigan
According to the form guide Wigan is the fourth best team in the EPL over the past 6 matches. Raise your hand if you believe that. Oh by the way ManCity sits 14th in the form guide. City have too much talent, Hughes is to good of a manager, and at some point you have to believe that they will put it all together and make a run at the top ten. Well at least I think they have to. With it looking more and more likely that Mr. Kaka will join the citizens, the team will play with confidence and swagger. Robinho will run around so much it will make the Wigan defense dizzy. The Citizens in a run away.
Until next time remember to always eat after you pick.......................your nose!
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Dobber's Match Day 22 Predictions
While the Dobber sits with a 2-6 record (even with a dead on prediction of Everton v. Hull City in Match Day 21) since joining this blog, I've got my eyes on catching Ace by running the table. Running the table? Get it? Just like a football league table. Either that or I'll have another 0-5 showing and go down faster than a high school prom queen on prom night. Now, on to the predictions!
Hull City 0 Arsenal 2
Hull City has been a fun team to watch this season and kudos for them for not going all Bolton on their opponents. But the fact of the matter is Hull City gives up more goals than any other club in the league. That plays right into Arsenal's game that has the Gunners as consistently one of the league's top scoring sides year after year. While this year has been an up and down ride for the Gunners, this week's fixture with Hull City will be one of Arsenal's high points. A clean sheet for Almunia and high spirits for Arsenal players and Gunner fans alike.
Tottenham 1 Portsmouth 1
This week's "Toilet Stinker Match of the Week" goes to Tottenham and Portsmouth. Why are we even predicting this garbage? Does anyone even care about this match? Seriously, I beg for even a Tottenham or Portsmouth fan to show themselves in public and watch this match. If I had tickets to this match, I'd properly sell them for a pint of beer in a warm pub and watch a real match instead. Hell, I'd even buy the lad who bought me a beer a beer just as consolation in having to watch this match. Oh, and this match ends in a draw because, well, both teams just plain suck.
Liverpool 2 Everton 0
Everton had a nice victory over Hull City last weekend, while Liverpool sputtered to a draw with Stoke. Liverpool fans have to be pissed at that showing, but will be rewarded by a solid effort The Reds in this one. No way Liverpool comes home to Anfield and drops more points. They'll hold on to the top spot this week, but don't get too excited Liverpool fans; the day ManU stages a coup and overthrows your regime is coming.
Sunderland 1 Aston Villa 1
While I agree with Ace that Villa will lose their fourth place standing, it's not going to quite happen this week. The Dobber is predicting that after taking a lead in the 60th minute, Sunderland will try to secure a victory and fall back and play defense. Unfortunately, playing defense is not one of Sunderland's strong suits and they'll concede an equalizer in a match they should have won. Villa luckily leaves with a much needed point and retains their fourth spot in the league table for at least one more week.
Manchester City 3 Wigan 2
Manchester City had a busy week this week offering $145 million to Kaka, only to be rejected. Ouch. That has to hurt. Luckily for City, they get to take out their aggression on Wigan's back line. Plus, after last week's postponement, Manchester City will be well rested and should be firing on all cylinders offensively. While City isn't stellar on the back line, they'll do just enough to get a home victory and three points.
Hull City 0 Arsenal 2
Hull City has been a fun team to watch this season and kudos for them for not going all Bolton on their opponents. But the fact of the matter is Hull City gives up more goals than any other club in the league. That plays right into Arsenal's game that has the Gunners as consistently one of the league's top scoring sides year after year. While this year has been an up and down ride for the Gunners, this week's fixture with Hull City will be one of Arsenal's high points. A clean sheet for Almunia and high spirits for Arsenal players and Gunner fans alike.
Tottenham 1 Portsmouth 1
This week's "Toilet Stinker Match of the Week" goes to Tottenham and Portsmouth. Why are we even predicting this garbage? Does anyone even care about this match? Seriously, I beg for even a Tottenham or Portsmouth fan to show themselves in public and watch this match. If I had tickets to this match, I'd properly sell them for a pint of beer in a warm pub and watch a real match instead. Hell, I'd even buy the lad who bought me a beer a beer just as consolation in having to watch this match. Oh, and this match ends in a draw because, well, both teams just plain suck.
Liverpool 2 Everton 0
Everton had a nice victory over Hull City last weekend, while Liverpool sputtered to a draw with Stoke. Liverpool fans have to be pissed at that showing, but will be rewarded by a solid effort The Reds in this one. No way Liverpool comes home to Anfield and drops more points. They'll hold on to the top spot this week, but don't get too excited Liverpool fans; the day ManU stages a coup and overthrows your regime is coming.
Sunderland 1 Aston Villa 1
While I agree with Ace that Villa will lose their fourth place standing, it's not going to quite happen this week. The Dobber is predicting that after taking a lead in the 60th minute, Sunderland will try to secure a victory and fall back and play defense. Unfortunately, playing defense is not one of Sunderland's strong suits and they'll concede an equalizer in a match they should have won. Villa luckily leaves with a much needed point and retains their fourth spot in the league table for at least one more week.
Manchester City 3 Wigan 2
Manchester City had a busy week this week offering $145 million to Kaka, only to be rejected. Ouch. That has to hurt. Luckily for City, they get to take out their aggression on Wigan's back line. Plus, after last week's postponement, Manchester City will be well rested and should be firing on all cylinders offensively. While City isn't stellar on the back line, they'll do just enough to get a home victory and three points.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
BPL Predictions 01/17 - 01/19
I told the boys this week had some interesting matchups. Of course, I'm right. The most impressive thing though is that I still enter this weekend at the top of this fixture table. A 4-4 record isn't bad I suppose... better than my two quack opponents. Therefore, I've decided to let loose a little this week and add a bit of spice to my picks. So, without much further ado, I present to you my picks for Round 23 or whatever it is. I trust you will sit back, kick your feet up on the back of your enslaved midget hooker, grab a big bottle of chihuahua piss to imbibe on, and check these out.
Hull City 0 Arsenal 2
I cannot say with a lot of confidence that Arsenal will easily win this match, but I can say that at least Hull City will come after the Gunners. It’s at their crib, and they will be “gunning” for the points like they earned away at the Emirates, aka The Stadium of Flight. Get it.
Anyway, if Hull is not putting TEN STINKING MEN BEHIND THE BALL LIKE THOSE PUSSIES FROM BOLTON AND ANY OTHER TEAM WHO SUCKS BALLS, then it should be an interesting match. I can even see Hull putting one in the back of the net. However, Arsenal should maintain the majority of possession, like usual, and that they will find a consistent connection from midfield to the strikers up top. Let the “shots on goal” parade begin.
Tottenham 2 Portsmouth 1
I actually cannot believe I just had Spurs winning a match. While it’s true that Portsmouth is 3 points up on the Pansies with the Chicken Logo, it’s obvious that Portsmouth is on a freefall. I don’t agree with Eugene Turk’s madness that Portsmouth will be playing for a return to the BPL this time next season, but I can say that they are vulnerable at the moment. It only makes sense that they boys from Tottenham will take advantage of other boys at their weakest hour.
Liverpool 3 Everton 1
“Ever…ton! Ever…ton! Is anyone Ever…gon…na care?!”
Ol’ Dobber said last week something about a “Stinker” pick or something. Welp, this match has the potential to smell like Eugene’s ass after a drunk-on-tequila Sunday barbeque. The Reds romp and ask Everton’s mothers how they like it.
Sunderland 1 Aston Villa 0
Yeah yeah, call me crazy. Most likely I am, but I have a feeling that Sunderland will protect their homestead like Dobber protects his monthly edition of Playgirl. Who knows? The Villains are still riding high in that Champions League fourth position, but who says they will actually hang on? The colder months affect every team, and it’s time the Villains fall.
Manchester City 2 Wigan 2
Believe it or not, but this match might be the most intriguing of them all. Did anybody notice that Wigan is currently in 7th place? How the hell did that happen?
I digress for a moment... Wigan lost 1-0 midweek to Man United on a 1st minute goal. On one hand one could say they’re not very good if they’re giving up first minute goals. On the other hand one could ponder how they didn’t concede a single goal the rest of the way. You know that United wasn’t backing down, and you know that the Latics were trying to score. In the end, they couldn’t put home an equalizer, but they did send a warning that maybe 7th isn’t as ridiculous as you might think.
Anyway, since Man City hasn’t spent another 50 million pounds on anybody just yet, I’m not sure if they have a big enough payroll to win this one (sarcasm- sɑr kæz əm- 1. harsh or bitter derision or irony. 2. a sharply ironical taunt; sneering or cutting remark). I figure this one will have some good goals in it, and if a winner is involved, it is sure to prove a momentum-builder for whoever nets it.
I guess I should have a cool sign-off like Eugene...
Until next time, remember to wipe after you dump. Later morons.
Hull City 0 Arsenal 2
I cannot say with a lot of confidence that Arsenal will easily win this match, but I can say that at least Hull City will come after the Gunners. It’s at their crib, and they will be “gunning” for the points like they earned away at the Emirates, aka The Stadium of Flight. Get it.
Anyway, if Hull is not putting TEN STINKING MEN BEHIND THE BALL LIKE THOSE PUSSIES FROM BOLTON AND ANY OTHER TEAM WHO SUCKS BALLS, then it should be an interesting match. I can even see Hull putting one in the back of the net. However, Arsenal should maintain the majority of possession, like usual, and that they will find a consistent connection from midfield to the strikers up top. Let the “shots on goal” parade begin.
Tottenham 2 Portsmouth 1
I actually cannot believe I just had Spurs winning a match. While it’s true that Portsmouth is 3 points up on the Pansies with the Chicken Logo, it’s obvious that Portsmouth is on a freefall. I don’t agree with Eugene Turk’s madness that Portsmouth will be playing for a return to the BPL this time next season, but I can say that they are vulnerable at the moment. It only makes sense that they boys from Tottenham will take advantage of other boys at their weakest hour.
Liverpool 3 Everton 1
“Ever…ton! Ever…ton! Is anyone Ever…gon…na care?!”
Ol’ Dobber said last week something about a “Stinker” pick or something. Welp, this match has the potential to smell like Eugene’s ass after a drunk-on-tequila Sunday barbeque. The Reds romp and ask Everton’s mothers how they like it.
Sunderland 1 Aston Villa 0
Yeah yeah, call me crazy. Most likely I am, but I have a feeling that Sunderland will protect their homestead like Dobber protects his monthly edition of Playgirl. Who knows? The Villains are still riding high in that Champions League fourth position, but who says they will actually hang on? The colder months affect every team, and it’s time the Villains fall.
Manchester City 2 Wigan 2
Believe it or not, but this match might be the most intriguing of them all. Did anybody notice that Wigan is currently in 7th place? How the hell did that happen?
I digress for a moment... Wigan lost 1-0 midweek to Man United on a 1st minute goal. On one hand one could say they’re not very good if they’re giving up first minute goals. On the other hand one could ponder how they didn’t concede a single goal the rest of the way. You know that United wasn’t backing down, and you know that the Latics were trying to score. In the end, they couldn’t put home an equalizer, but they did send a warning that maybe 7th isn’t as ridiculous as you might think.
Anyway, since Man City hasn’t spent another 50 million pounds on anybody just yet, I’m not sure if they have a big enough payroll to win this one (sarcasm- sɑr kæz əm- 1. harsh or bitter derision or irony. 2. a sharply ironical taunt; sneering or cutting remark). I figure this one will have some good goals in it, and if a winner is involved, it is sure to prove a momentum-builder for whoever nets it.
I guess I should have a cool sign-off like Eugene...
Until next time, remember to wipe after you dump. Later morons.
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