Dobber's Match Day 28 Predictions

Dobber's continued success in the Trio's table continues this week with Match Day 28. After a rousing second leg of the Champions League, the league's best all advance and find themselves looking to ride the high to continued success on the pitch. Will they succeed? Who the hell knows. But I'm going to do my best to get it right this week. A number of 4 for 5 week predictions has The Dobber right on the cusp of a clean sheet. And this week I'm smelling that clean sheet. That, or I'm smelling Little Dobber's shit filled diaper he just blew up.

Hull City 1 Newcastle 0
Bet you thought this one had "Toilet Stinker Match of the Week" written all over it, didn't you. While it has the possibility and perhaps could be the "Dingleberry Match of the Week," Dobber's got a better toilet match this week. Still, this match will be mostly a snoozefest, until Hull City steal a victory with a goal in the 92nd minute. And that late winner ladies and germs is why this match avoids the toilet title.

Manchester United 2 Liverpool 1
The Dobber wishes he had the balls to pick Liverpool over ManU this week, but he just can't do it. As much as it pains me to say, ManU is just plain solid. They are deep, play great footy, and continuously get results. While they face a formidable opponent in Liverpool, they're still going to get the results.

Chelsea 3 Manchester City 0 - Toilet Stinker Match of the Week
Dobber hates both of these clubs. Both want to spend, spend, spend their way to the top. Chelsea isn't too bad at this strategy. They buy quality players while at the top of their game. Man City on the other hand absolutely blows at it. They constantly overspend for players who either can't get along, or are past their prime. Did I mention I hate these clubs? Cause I do. And that's why I'm dubbing this match the "Toilet Stinker Match of the Week." Mainly because I hate both clubs and wish somehow a giant airplane would fly Stamford Bridge and dump their sewage all over the pitch. But in reality, this is the "Toilet Stinker Match of the Week" because Chelsea will destroy Man City and this won't be much fun to watch.

Aston Villa 1 Tottenham 1
After a horrid start to the season, Tottenham has finally strung together a series of results that find them in the middle of the pack. Meanwhile, after Aston Villa's early season success, they are sputtering as of late. Fortunately for Aston Villa, Arsenal has done pretty much nothing over the same span and Villa still sits in the coveted 4th spot in the table. Villa will still stay in the 4th spot after this weekend, but Arsenal will be nipping on their heals, when Villa is only able to compile a draw against a squad they should walk over.

Arsenal 2 Blackburn 0
Arsenal escaped Rome this week with a thrilling PK showdown and find themselves on two possible runs at glory in both the CL and the FA Cup. Unfortunately the EPL has not been as kind to the Gunners, as they continuously drop points to inferior opponents. After Arsenal's putrid February I swore that I would not predict a Gunner victory until they finally pulled their heads out of their arse's. Arsenal's heads are finally out of their proverbial arse's and will regain form in gaining 3 points when they should gain 3 points.

Match Day 28

It seems like its been forever since I have posted. But with rest comes perspective and knowledge. With perspective and knowledge come a big Eugene victory this week. i am feeling 5 for 5.

Hull City v Newcastle
Hull City is at home and I am dreaming of seeing Newcastle in the Championship next year. I am feeling like Hull City will recapture their early season form and prove their worth and their credentials to stay in the EPL. I hope Newcastle enjoys life in Championship next year.
Hull City 2-1 Newcastle

Aston Villa v Tottenham
Does any two teams playing these weekend need a win like both these teams. Tottenham needs a win to cement their place in the EPL for next year and Villa need a to keep their hopes alive for a Champions League spot and the big money that comes with it. Villa comes alive for this game and Harry can do nothing about it.
Aston Villa 3 - 1 Tottenham

Chelsea v Manchester City
I could not care less about these two teams and this game in particular. If both teams can loss i would vote for that outcome but since that is not possible i will have to make a prediction. Chelsea's defense is not as strong as everybody makes it out to be and ManCity's offense seems to be hitting on all cylinders. I see an upset.
Manchester City 2-1 Chelsea

Arsenal v Blackburn
BLOWOUT!!!!!!!!!All we need to know is that Blackburn's goalkeeper is Paul Robinson, yeah that Paul Robinson.
Arsenal 4 - 0 Blackburn

And on to the main event..............
Manchester United v Liverpool
Both teams look to be in pure form. If anyone saw either teams Champions League matches these teams were pure class. I so want the title race to be something more than just a forgone conclusion. I want Liverpool to make a run at the title and possibly win it. Old Trafford might be United's fortress but they haven't faced a Torres/Gerrard combo that seems to be in tune. This might be the game of the year and FSC has once again failed to deliver. UPSET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Liverpool 2-1 Manchester United. Torres and Gerrard with back breakers. Go Liverpool!!!!

Until next time.............don't eat where you shit and don't shit where you eat!!!!!!!!

BPL Predictions 03/14 - 03/16

So I was playing NCAA March Madness '08 this week (I bought it used for $8). I always change the names of new recruits to give them the most ridiculous names ever because it's quite funny seeing the NCAA Player of the Week as Raul Duke or Slappy Wilson. Well, I was toying around with it and apparently pushed the X button, which gave him a random name. I was not aware of this, so you can imagine my excitement when my point guard's name became Colby Manhand. Manhand? Seriously? Why was this name even an option? Needless to say, my curiosity got the best of me so I decided to try it again, and this time Idi Nax came up. Really?? What the hell kind of names does this game think are simply "random"? It only gets more ridiculous when I say that as coach of the Indiana State Sycamores, Coach Riki Tiki Tavi, I have taken the program to a 54 game winning streak and two consecutive national titles while still in the MVC. Who was the starting point guard you might ask? Yep, you guessed it. Colby Manhand.

Anyway, the next day I whipped Eugene's ass at FIFA like I usually do. He tried the old 7-2-1 defensive formation, which got a pretty decent laugh from my boy SRed7 in Calera, Alamama. What up dOOd?!!! Yeah, it's 7 defenders (5 in or in front of the box and 2 on corners) 2 deep wingers, and a striker all by his lonesome. Good times...

On to the show... I look to regain my place back at the top of the 3 Morons' "Nostradamus" list. Actually, I have no idea where I stand in points right now. Does anybody know? Or care?


Hull City 1 Newcastle 1
This is definitely the “Sticky and Hard-To-Wipe-Clean Pooper” Match of the Week. Congratulations Hull on the great start to your season! Too bad it was just an illusion and you’re on track to be flushed back to where you belong! The Championship! Yay! Congratulations Newcastle on your horrible start and continually disappointing season! You should also be relegated because you suck! Ya-hoooooo! Anyway, the paragraph you just read will be 10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 times more exciting than the match. We may see some goals, but most likely we’ll see a bunch of nothing. Besides, who really gives a rat's ass?

Man United 2 Liverpool 1
I think this has the potential to be a fabulous game. Apparently some “hate” comments have come out to fuel the fire as bulletin board material. Which team will be able to quell the flame though? Old Trafford obviously offers a comfort zone for United, but Liverpool will be jacked up for this one so I think the home field advantage might not be so important. What will be important, however, is the consistency and class of United versus that of the Reds… and United win by a goal!

Chelsea 3 Man City 0
I have a reason to think that this match will not even be close. Chelsea had a tough match midweek in the CL and will be looking to continue their run. Plus, they will be playing with the belief that Liverpool can take a point (or 3) from their Sunday match with United and begin to narrow the gap to a first-place spot in the BPL. Man City are already looking to next year, and I don’t really think they will have much trouble closing out a spot in Europe. What do they have to play for? Hughes? I doubt it since he will get canned at season’s end. Pride? I doubt that either because their “leader” is a sell-out. Most of them will be gone in the summer when the owners clean house (except for stars) and look to fit in more star power.

Aston Villa 1 Spurs 2
I’m back to believing (and praying) that Villa have run out of steam for the time being. They may have the lead on Arsenal by 3 points, but I think they realize they still have a mountain to climb with the difficulty of their remaining schedule. They have truly been on a run of poor form lately and need something to cheer about again, but a match against a motivated and well-coached and a fairly hot team in Spurs is not the answer. Spurs go up two goals before Villa snatch a late goal making the end exciting. I’m sure Spurs will be excited about the win, but they won’t be happy to help out their arch rivals in reaching the coveted fourth place.

Arsenal 2 Blackburn 0
Arsenal’s defense has been really good as of late (except for that strange goal vs. Roma), and their offense is heating up at the right time. Blackburn stole some points against Fulham midweek and have taken into Big Sam’s theory… as many set pieces, crosses, and men in front of goal as possible. I don’t think Arsenal allow the Rovers to come into the Emirates this week and take anything. In fact, Arsenal’s BPL goal-drought will end with at least a pair, and they get another clean sheet too.


Until next time chaps... don't ever wear chaps or say "that chaps my ass." You'll either look or sound like a jackass or a flamer. Actually, I'm laughing my ass off right now because "that chaps my ass" is really funny to say. In fact, I'm laughing so hard, my ass is chapping. Uh... later.

Dobber's Match Day 27 Predictions

After taking a week off from predicting the EPL while taking care of the Dobber Jr., Dobber Sr. is back and better than ever. The Dobber plans to regain his EPL prediction supremacy on this blog and there's no better way to do that than to predict my predictions. Typically the trio does alright, 3 or 4 correct predictions. But this week, Dobber's going one step above the typical threshold and predicting that his predictions will earn a clean sheet. Predicting predictions sounds radical eh? or just plan stupid. Either way, that's how I'm rollin this mornin.

Arsenal 2 Fulham 0
The arrival of Andrei Arshavin has made an immediate impact in creating chances for Arsenal around the goal. Unfortunately, those chances haven't turned into goals for the Gunners in their last few EPL fixtures, and while Arsenal hasn't lost since Nov. 22nd to Manchester City, with only a series of draws to show for they're last few matches in leauge play, they haven't seized their opportunities to climb back into Champions League qualifying contention. Arsenal will get their points today when Fulham arrives at the Emirates, but unfortunately for the Gunners, they won't close the gap on Aston Villa.

Hull City 2 Blackburn 0
Hull City has to be the feel good story of the EPL season. They are a fun club to watch as they go head to head with everyone in the league, rather than taking a right turn onto "Pansy Way Blvd" that so many other clubs have done so far this year. Hull City will go full steam ahead this week too, and with a matchup with Blackburn, they'll get the three points, and even a clean sheet to boot, that they deserve.

Sunderland 1 Tottenham 1
Both teams recently drew with Arsenal and that is the brightest spot in both club's seasons to date. To say this season is a disappointment for Tottenham is an understatement. Not many expected Sunderland to do much, so they fact they are occassionaly competitive is a good thing. Bottom line, both teams aren't good and when you have club's that aren't good playing each other, that doesn't make for a very good match. Hit the snooze button and skip this one.

Aston Villa 3 Stoke City 1
Dobber's been waiting for Aston Villa to drop points and fall out of the coveted fourth spot in the table for the past few weeks. Villa did their part with a draw to Wigan and a loss to Chelsea, but the club right behind them, Arsenal did nothing to take advantage. If Arsenal thinks this week might be the week to close the gap, they've got another thing coming. Villa runs away with this one and barely breaks a sweat.

Bolton 0 Newcastle 0
Boy did we have a number of choices for Toilet Stinker Match of the Week in this weekend's fixtures. Seriously, who picked these matches for the trio to predict? Hell, the Dobber thinks their are going to many toilet stinker's this week. Although this one will be the festering turd among all EPL fixtures. Mark the Dobber's words, this match will be an uninspiring, boring match that will make fans want to make their own prison shank and stab themselves repeatedly.

Matchday 27

It surely has been awhile since my last post. I have been on a little hiatus but my attorney calls it jail. I really don't see the need to arrest a man for trying to smuggle $50,000 worth of drugs into the United States in a body cavity. I should get a damn medal not a jail term with possible prison sentence. Anyways...........

Here's this weeks predictions:

Arsenal 3-1 Fulham
Arsenal has to many weapons and Fulham not enough. Side note: who looks smarter in the whole selling of Jimmy Bullard. Fulham gets some much needed cash and young prospect and Hull City get to pay a surgeon to fix the messed up knee of Bullard. hated the move at the time but it looks like pure genius right now.

Hull City 2 - 1 Blackburn
The return to glory for Hull City. This is a home game and no way they lose, i can see a draw but not a loss. This will effectively be the three points that ensures survival.

Sunderland 1 - 3 Tottenham
Harry rested his stars for the UEFA Cup dud and will have a fresh squad to run out against a very poor Sunderland. Although I have to admit to taking a liking to Djibril Cisse. His hair is more than enough for me to take a liking to him.

Aston-Villa 4 - 0 Stoke City
Martin O'Neill has a fresh and hungry side to run out and totally control and demolish a weak and going down Stoke.

Bolton 0 - 0 Newcastle
Shit game full of shit players. if a plane crashed into the pitch and totally took out both teams i might not cry.

Until next week..........don't listen to your parents. they are only there to ruin all your fun.

BPL Predictions 02/28 - 03/01

Howdy y'all! Hey did you guys see Aston Villa lost to CSKA in UEFA Cup play this week? Yep. Vagner Love and Yury Zhirkov each netted for the Moscow club. I wonder if at any point in the match the commentator said, "Love to Zhirkov for the score!" or "Love has done well, but Zhirkov is much more fun to watch."

Sorry fans, I have no "Redneckiest" shirt award this week.


Bolton 1 Newcastle 0
Like a magician pulls a rabbit from a hat, somehow the Wanderers will pull a win out of their ass at the Reebok. I have had way too much faith in the Potpies, I mean Magpies, to be a better squad this year. However, they are as inconsistent as Arsenal and can’t seem to find goals in half of their games. They are probably due for a couple in this one, but Bolton hold them off.

Hull City 0 Blackburn 2
If I had lots of money to gamble with, I would put it all down on the Rovers in this one. I might be duped, but I’m pretty sure Hull might be in the drop zone before long… “Look out below!” says the entire city of Hull in one big, collective shout. Blackburn are too disciplined to lose against the Tigers, even on the road. Expect Santa Cruz, Roberts, and McCarthy to terrorize early and often. It could be worse than the score above.

Sunderland 1 Tottenham 1
Dobber will probably pick either of the above matches as his “Toilet Stinker,” but let’s be real here. We were all joking at the fact in pre-season that Sunderland were predicted to be a top ten team because they had acquired so many studs. The funny thing was that they were all Spurs-castaways (note: Spurs finished bottom ten last year). So what were they going to do? Take a bunch of overrated, undertalented players and mold them into stars? No no no. If this isn’t the “Toilet Stinker,” it is at least the “Greasy Fart Stain” match of the week.

Aston Villa 2 Stoke City 0
Why should Villa lose this game? No reason exists. I will laugh my ass off if they do though.

Arsenal 3 Fulham 1
Arsenal cannot keep squandering points in 0-0 draws each week. Wow! They are unbeaten in X-number of games in all competitions! Who gives a shit because they haven’t won half of them. Is this the week they finally break free from the bonds of negativity? I believe so because the Cottagers are at least halfway decent in attack and will not be able to resist the urge to push forward. I would like to see Deuce Dempsey in the limelight, but in the end would much rather see his side lose miserably. Don’t worry Deuce! You’ll be playing El Salvador soon enough!


Until next time... wash behind your ears, under your sack, and between your cheeks.

Eugene's Picks

These are Eugene's picks, he just decided to forego his duties and disrespect the code of the 3 Morons. What a deviant. What a sham this is. Of all the low-down, dirty-scoundrel, rat-gnawing-on-your-ass horrible things that could be done, Eugene has just put the icing on the cake.

Ok, actually he's on his way to watch some bball and then go get wasted with me afterward.

Holla!


Aston Villa 2 Chelsea 1

Arsenal 3 Sunderland 0

Manchester United 4 Blackburn 1

Liverpool 2 Manchester City 1

Newcastle 0 Everton 1

Until next time... please let me eat your poop. --From Eugene