Monday, July 13, 2009

Hey Pinocchio! Where Do You Think You're Goin'?

Dobber- Your post on the Cubbies was very intriguing. However, I believe that the Cubs (Hendry) will ultimately decline on making any major moves as they will "stick to their guns" and blast on with the same cast. With the All-Star break in effect as of now, all Cubs fans can hope and pray that jackasses like Soriano, Fukudome, and Bradley will find their swagger over the next few days. Lou needs to forget players' salaries and make a consistent lineup based on BA and OBP, not whatever it was he was doing before. Anyway, here are a few breakdowns of the BEST, the FORGOT THEY WERE ON THE TEAM, and the WORST of the Cubbies so far this season...

BEST
Lee- I've said for the past 3 years that D.Lee needs to be bumped down the lineup into 5th or 6th, but so far this season he's proven me wrong. Now maybe I only feel that way because everyone else has simply under-performed, therefore making Derrek's performance seem better, but realistically, he is hitting for a good average and his power seems to be back. Anyway, he has been solid again at 1st base, like usual, and probably deserves the 1st half MVP honors.

Ramirez- He had a great start to the season before getting injured and being out what seems like forever. I think when Aramis is healthy, he is by far the Cubs' best player, or maybe most important player would be better said. Everyone knows his defensive skills have tripled the last 3-4 years and he is an RBI machine. Hopefully, these few games he played before the break will help him get back full-strength for the 2nd half.

Theriot- No doubt exists in my mind that this guy should be batting lead-off each and every contest. He has speed, determination, some power, patience, and what all of the Cubs' other candidates don't have: both confidence and an edge.

Hoffpauir- This guy just never seems to disappoint me. Hey did anybody see how many homeruns he has? Yep, that's right... more than Bradley. I haven't seen how many fewer at-bats he's had, but I know it has to be a large margin. You may disagree, but I think Micah should be our starting RF until Bradley snaps out of it... big salary or not.

Marshall- I am glad that Marshall is a Cub. He has that "I'll do whatever it takes to play and to win" kinda attitude that everyone has to love. He has had a solid year, whether as a starter or middle reliever.

Zambrano- What a headcase, but hey the guy competes at a high level and his strong emotions help him do that. Yes, sometimes his emotions get the best of him, but he can keep doing it all he wants if he keeps producing.

Lilly- The guy is the Cubs' only All-Star. He's a class act. He's a leader. I wish we had two of him. Enough said.

Wells- What can you say about the guy? He looks good. Only 6 years pitching after a stint in "A" minors as a catcher? You really can't tell. He has been a nice complement to our rotation, although he is still probably expendable if the Cubs latch onto another big arm in a trade.

FORGOT THEY WERE ON THE TEAM
Harden- Seriously, does the guy still even play for the Cubs? I honestly forgot he was still on the roster.

Soto- What has he done? I can't say it's been good or bad... it's just been nada.

Miles- I had never seen the guy play before I knew I didn't like him in the pre-season. Oh yeah, and is he still on the team? I hope not. I'd rather see Fuld or Baker. Hell I'd rather see Les Lancaster make a comeback and play 2nd base before this clown. Did he go to the Craig Counsell School for Gayest Batting Stances? Terrible.

Dempster- Ryan may very well have the best ERA and have a nice collection of wins and quality starts and stuff, but he's been off the radar as far as I'm concerned. The Cubs' offense has sucked something awful this year and that has a big part to do with his confidence on the mound I'm afraid, but this is a guy that we need to be bigger in the 2nd half.

WORST
Soriano- Get your head out of your ass. You're making way too much cashflow to be sucking this bad. Lou's moving of Big Al down the lineup was about 2 years too late, but at least it's done now. I think he would still look good in the 2nd slot if he ever finds his swing back. If not, 6th is probably about right... or the bench.

Bradley- Milton is a waste of space. He should be watching from the bench as Hoffpauir plays in RF. Maybe if he changed his name to Parker Brothers things would be different.

Fontenot- Little Babe just ain't getting it done this year. I thought he came out strong at the very beginning of the season, but then just faded big time. Like Dobber said, this is another guy who needs to turn it around in the 2nd half or he might see himself in a different uniform.

Fukudome- I can't believe the guy is still batting lead-off. What a waste. I have such high hopes that he will one day be good, but the forecast for that is cold and bleak, with lots of hail and shit falling from the sky. Too far?

Gregg- It may be a bit harsh to put Gregg in the "worst" category, but he deserves to go somewhere and it sure as hell isn't in the "best." Maybe I just harbor bad thoughts because the guy seems like a massive tool. He's been a lot better lately which has been nice, but he still scares me like Alfonseca and Beck used to do. I would prefer that the Cubs bring back Mitch "The Wild Thing" Williams as closer. Maybe Tom "Flash" Gordon? Any other ex-Cubs closers with stupid nicknames?

In continuation of my last comment, I am officially starting a contest for best nickname for Kevin Gregg... I will start off the bidding with Kevin "No Personality" Gregg. Lame? Maybe. True? Definitely.

Adios amigos.
Ace

1 comment:

Dobber said...

How about Kevin "Joe Borowski" Gregg. Seriously, watch the guy pitch. He is Joe Borowski 2.0. And that isn't a compliment.