BPL Predictions 02/07 - 02/08

Arsene and Arsenal acquired Arshavin! I bet you can't say that 5 times in a row without sounding like a drunken seal in a nipple-grinder.

I have no idea what that means.

Anyway, the BPL is looking to hit us pretty hard this week with a handful of very intriguing games. Oh wait, I just remembered. This week's round of games blows ass, kind of like Eugene and Dobber do with each other every holiday.

But, without further ado...we, the 3 morons, must proceed to predict away regardless. I shall overcome last week's debacle with a better round this time out... I can 'feel' it in my gut. Unless that's the meatball sub I had for lunch making its way through. I bid you adieu! Farewell!

Blackburn 1 Aston Villa 1
After taking a peek at Blackburn’s recent form, they haven’t lost a match since early January. It’s hard to say that streak will end with the Villains coming to town, but I’m sure Big Sam has some tricks up his sleeve. Blackburn does still have two high-quality strikers in McCarthy and Santa Cruz. Villa, on the other hand, looks more and more each week like they will hold onto that 4th spot in the table…maybe even spring into 3rd. I have a feeling like they will come close to scoring a game-winner late, but Rovers will hang on like a crackwhore hangs onto a crackhead’s ding dong.

WBA 1 Newcastle 0
This week’s fixtures sure do suck. Think about it. We actually had to include this match. Wow. What a barn-burner. Both teams will approach this game with the idea that they can win it. The problem is that it’s not dance when two alike teams meet. It’s more like a head-butting battle. No one wins, and everyone gets dumber for participating and/or watching. West Brom sneaks one by though and takes a much-needed trio of points in hopes to get out of the bottom third. Newcastle fans don't really care though as they will be hammered drunk.

Portsmouth 1 Liverpool 2
Before Gerrard's injury, I would have said that Portsmouth stood about as much of a chance in this one as a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest. However, Portsmouth will keep it interesting while at home and will equalize before making a desperate push for the game-winner. Then, Liverpool, like a thief in the night, will steal it with a late goal. Tony Adams may very well be red-carded after this one, if you catch my drift.

Wigan 2 Fulham 2
If this were last year or the year before, this match would have been so boring that any normal person would rather watch shit stink or a corpse decompose, or a combination of both. However, these teams are both pretty decent this year, and both offer a different style. Wigan, in my opinion, are more of a grinding style. Fulham have a bit more edge and play with a bit more aggression near the goal but are more open to counter-attack. We’ll see how this one plays out, but I have a feeling it will tilt and swing like a carnival ride with some nice goals to boot.

Spurs 1 Arsenal 3
The last time these two met led to an unbelievable ending where, if I remember correctly, 3 (maybe 4) goals were scored in the final 10 minutes and injury time. Arsenal could not hold onto the lead and let Spurs steal a couple of big points. Spurs now have more of an attack with Keane back, but it will not be enough to dispose of their archrivals even at the Lane. The Gunners purchase of Arshavin definitely helps their team, and it may very well help this weekend. It will be a tight affair early and an early goal may be in the works. I can predict the second half will be much more exciting with some excellent open play. Go Gunners!


Until next time... Remember: don't lick used toilet paper.