BPL Predictions 02/21 - 02/23

If only I had seen that Spurs and Hull were playing Monday, I would have totally recommended we predict that one instead (Hull wins 1-0)... but I digress.

This week's fixtures are ok. I think that these games we are foreseeing have a lot of potential, but will they impress or disappoint in the end? Maybe even a better question is... who gives a rat's ass? As long as Arsenal wins and Chelsea and Villa manage to both lose (despite playing each other), I will be happy. Now I'm not hoping for an injury to a member of either of those teams (or 3-4 injuries), but I certainly wouldn't lose sleep because of it. Most likely I'd stay up all night drinking, celebrating, singing Villa and Chelsea hate songs and Glory Glory Fuck United and high-fiving myself in the mirror. But, once again, I digress.

Aston Villa 1 Chelsea 2
I’m not sure exactly how he’ll do it, but Guus will have the Blues ready to play. The players will have the typical “rejuvenation” of a new coach, blah blah blah. It’s funny that I have been hoping for Villa to lose so much this year, but now I want them to win. Why? Because Chelsea is closer for Arsenal to catch in that 4th spot. However, if Villa is to lose this match, it could spurn a slump…hmmm…maybe it’s not so bad afterall.

Arsenal 2 Sunderland 0
I think this could have been a very entertaining match with Eduardo back in the red and white, but now he’s out again for a couple weeks along with Ade. It seems as if Arshavin will have his league debut and I’m counting on him to net along with one of the partnering stikers of RvP or Bendtner. Sunderland will probably drop 15 men behind the ball (11 players, manager, referee, and 2 linesman) and try to kill the entire 90 minutes. The only problem is that they will suck as long and hard as Dobber and Eugene do every holiday season together.

Manchester United 3 Blackburn 0
This will start off interesting, and then will become the complete opposite of that unless you’re a Red Devil fan. United’s defense, offense, and special teams is just too good. Oh and Blackburn blows like Dobber and Eugene do… actually, I’m going to spare our “readers” this simile, ok guys?

Liverpool 1 Manchester City 1
Something tells me that the halfway decent Man City will indeed show up and give the Reds a valiant contest. In fact, I think a point will be deserved between these two teams as it is an up-and-down match with lots of action, but no real substance.

Newcastle 2 Everton 1
This may very well be my “Shock the World and Shit Your Pants” pick of the week. Newcastle has three key starters back available for action this weekend and you have to believe that Everton wants all three points, so it should equal a high-paced, offensive match with hopefully little or no defense. I say a 2-1 score because Everton is involved, but it could be more.

Until next time, don't pee your pants. It's not actually cool like Miles Davis. Later fucksticks!